


Muddy

by citrinesunset



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 01:57:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrinesunset/pseuds/citrinesunset
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack convinces Ianto to try a mud bath. Ianto is ambivalent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Muddy

**Author's Note:**

> This was written to fulfill the "Wet/messy" square on my kink_bingo card. This one is actually pretty tame, as evidenced by the rating. Inspiration struck me and I ran with it.

"I think I'm stuck," Ianto said. "I can't move." He tried to wiggle his arms and legs, but met with heavy resistance from the thick, ripe-smelling mud that covered him.

"Relax," Jack said. "This is supposed to be therapeutic."

"Relax? How could anyone find this relaxing?"

Jack sighed. "Look, you didn't have to come with me. You could have gone to the sauna with the others."

Ianto scoffed. "Right, like I want to sit in a sauna with Owen. He spent the whole trip here complaining about the heat, and that was with air conditioning."

They were lying side by side in mud baths, caked up to their necks. Ianto could feel a spot of mud on his ear that was driving him crazy, but with both arms covered with the stuff, wiping it away would be pointless.

Speakers in the ceiling played soft flute music mixed with the sound of running water. Ianto figured it was supposed to be meditative.

The door opened a crack, and Ianto hoped it was the attendant coming to fish them out of the tubs.

"Jack? Ianto? Are you guys in there? Are you decent?"

It was Gwen.

"Yeah," Jack called out, "come on in!"

She walked in and shut the door behind her. She was wearing a green bikini with one of the spa's oversized white robes over it. Her skin was pink, and her hair was wet and stringy. She looked at them, and tried to suppress a smile. Ianto could see the giggles building up in her throat before she burst out laughing.

Ianto sighed and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Gwen said. "But you two look ridiculous!"

"Hey!" Jack said. "If it doesn't look ridiculous, you're not doing it right." He sounded proud.

"How was the sauna?" Ianto asked, interceding before Gwen could think to ask if they were naked.

"Humid. Owen and Tosh went to check out that pool out back. I'm on my way to join them. Um, how are we on time?" The last part was asked hopefully.

"Relax," Jack said, waving a muddy hand. "There's no rush."

Gwen grinned, and excused herself to check out the pool. At least she was getting something out of this outing. Ianto still thought it was unnecessary.

They were at a new luxury spa that had just opened up not far from Cardiff. It was supposed to cater to the rich and elite, and ever since arriving, Ianto had been on the lookout for anyone he might recognize from television or tabloids.

So far, Ianto was unimpressed. The "skilled and experienced technicians" looked like they were fresh out of primary school, everything seemed designed to make him sweat, and right now, he had mud seeping into places that felt _very_ odd.

Technically, he reminded himself, they were there on business. One of the resort's claims to fame was a product they used and sold, which they appropriately dubbed Miracle Cream. Miracle Cream lived up to its name a little _too_ well, and its implausible and rejuvenating effects on wrinkles were enough to get Torchwood's attention on a slow day.

One of them could have just driven up here, bought a jar, and returned. But Jack had decided they were all due a day of relaxation. They could procure the Miracle Cream after a day of luxury on Her Majesty's expense.

If Ianto was being honest, though, the mud did feel a little good. It was warm and soft. It reminded him of bundling up in blankets on a cold winter day.

And he didn't want to knock it _too_ much, because he knew Jack found the whole thing thrilling for some reason. He'd said mud baths were luxurious and sexy.

Looking to the side, he saw Jack's eyes had closed. Ianto wondered if he'd dosed off. That couldn't be wise, could it? Drowning in mud would be a humiliating way to die, and Jack would live to suffer the embarrassment. But a second later, Jack's eyes popped open, like he knew he was being watched.

"Hey. I got an idea. How about some naked mud wrestling?"

Ianto rolled his eyes, but he wasn't totally confident Jack was joking. "If you're going to wrestle, it helps if you're not bogged down." He squirmed. "God, this stuff gets _everywhere_ "

Jack leered at him. "Oh yeah? Later, I'll give you a bath. Get you _all_ clean."

"I bet you will." Only Jack could try to turn this into a sex thing. Ianto wouldn't have that – the last thing he needed was to be standing at attention when the attendant returned.

"What will we do?" Ianto asked. "If the Miracle Cream actually is alien in origin? I mean, if it's not harmful?"

Jack shrugged. "People have been using alien ingredients for years. Still, we need to be safe. But really? I figured we all needed a change of pace. An excuse to get out."

"Last time you said that, we almost got eaten by cannibals."

Jack grinned at him. "Admit it: you love it when I get you to try new things."

"Fine. But they could have at least offered us some of those cucumber slices to put over our eyes."


End file.
